I’m So Tired, I Haven’t Slept a Wink…
“Mommy, why are your eyes cracked out? They’re all red and stuff.”
This is the question my daughter had for me after breakfast one morning this week.
“Because I’m tired, honey,” I explained.
Pause.
“Why are you tired?”
“Because I got up early to work and didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
“Oh.” Pause.
“Are my eyes cracked out?” she asks.
“No, your eyes are fine.”
Pause.
“Well, why don’t you just go back to sleep and sleep all day? Then your eyes won’t be cracked out anymore.”
If only, I think.
“That sounds like a great plan, honey. But what are you going to do while I’m sleeping?”
“Ummmmmm…I can play by myself. And watch movies and stuff.”
This would never happen because A) I would feel like a terrible mother and B) I’d fear we’d end up on the news at 11 as one of those “Preschooler-found-wandering-on-the-road-wearing-nothing-but-her-underwear-and-Dora-the-Explorer-sunglasses” stories.
So, for today’s post, I present to you a list of reasons why Mama has cracked-out eyes:
1. Because I am not a robot.
2. Because I don’t own a robot, even though Google founder Larry Page thinks I should.
3. Because the tot decided to crawl into our bed at 3 a.m. and kick me in the spleen for 2 hours…
4. …while intermittently asking me when we’re going back to Kennywood because it’s “so awesome there.”
5. Then, 39 seconds after she fell back into a sound sleep, my alarm went off.
6. Then I worked for a few hours while she enjoyed the comfort of my queen-sized pillow-topped mattress and 1000-thread-count sheets.
7. Then we ate breakfast, and I cleaned up the kitchen, and then got her dressed and combed the industrial-strength knots out of her hair.
8. Then we played. All day. ALL DAY. If this sounds easy to you, then you must live on a planet where there are no children.
9. Lunch is in there somewhere, coupled with several rounds of cajoling. Just take one more bite. N0, you cannot have M&Ms instead of carrots. Yes, it is fair. No, I’m not mean. Yes, I do love you.
10. Then, dinner (see #9, above), cleaning up, more playtime, baths, storytime, and bed.
11. And, lest we forget, there’s laundry, cleaning, meal planning, coupon-cutting, grocery shopping, lunch-packing and maybe even a few personal or work-related calls thrown in there for good measure. All done without robots. Because I am awesome.
Yes, I’m tired. A lot. But what parent isn’t? This is, after all, what we signed up for, isn’t it? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re not tired, at least periodically, then you’re not doing it right.
And even though some days I may feel as if I exist in a semi-permanent fugue state, it’s a life I wouldn’t trade for all of the robots in the world.
Have a great weekend. And try to get some sleep.