An Ode to Preschool Germs

Three weeks of preschool. That’s how long it took for my darling daughter to transform from a healthy, happy-go-lucky kid into a sniffling, coughing, boogery mess.

So, after 48 hours of wiping her nose, finding used tissues all over the house and watching Winnie the Pooh Christmas on repeat (yes, I realize it’s only September; ask me if she cares), I decided to channel my frustration into an ode to those ever-virulent preschool germs.

With all apologies to every true poet who has ever grazed the face of the earth, and with minimal respect to rhyme and meter, here it is. Enjoy, and have a happy, healthy, germ-free weekend, y’all.

An Ode to Preschool Germs

It’s back-to-school time
and yes, here we go
The coughing, the sneezing,
the whining, the blowing
of little wee noses
until they’re sore, raw and red;
the wet, sticky tissues
under cushions and beds.

The warnings don’t matter
No matter how often they’re said:
“You’re going to get sick!”
“Germs will be spread!”
“Cover your mouth
when you sneeze!”
“Wash your hands,
won’t you please?”
“No hands in the mouth!”
“Use a tissue, NOT YOUR SLEEVE!”

So as they recover,
We’ll be snuggle bunnies.
We’ll wipe tiny noses
and rub tiny tummies.
While they gorge on cartoons
and slurp soup of the chicken,
We’ll pray that maybe — just maybe —
The next time they’ll listen.